Monday, June 14, 2010

those look like UFC gloves

So I had my successful date but I was told that you just keep going. I knew this would be confusing for me fast but i would try. I am not the type to go out lots unless its with my girlfriends. If I have to be on this new*game*, then I need to be careful and no fun really. So, I cruised okcupid. A completely awesome option they have is" who's viewed me" which virtually means that you can look at who has been peeping your profile.
At first when I would message people and see they looked at my profile but I had not heard back, then my feelings would be dented. But Laurie( yes, again), told me that they don't always reply right then, wait a few days. Although my feelings find it hard to wait, she was right. Some people would reply later. I guess maybe they just popped on maybe the mobile ap for a second but didn't have time to reply.
So I saw this very very good looking guy had been looking at my profile. Someone completely my"type". So I messaged the guy and he messaged me back. So we messaged back and forth for a long time until I finally made him email me on my gmail. For some reason he didn't want to do that but whatever. So I had to hit at this kid to ask me out. I was looking for his pictures and he had on boxing gloves. so I asked about it and it turns out this kid is a "professional" cage fighter----HOT. So we plan to go out but he has no license or ID, he had lis license taken from drunk driving. Totally lame but I was still going to go out. So I pick him up at the T( how lame). He is HOT minus the black eye he has! (omg)
So we go to this bar. I had to try to think of a good local bar because we wanted to watch the playoff game but he also couldn't be carded and although hes 30 he looked young because hes so clean cut. When we get in the car it is comfy immediately, no weirdness so I go to the bar and we drive around looking for parking forever. Finally we are up at the bar and I drink my beer and he drinks budlight metal bottle with lime(serious!). He's pounding beers to the point of me telling him to order water. I want to find out about the Cage fighting before he was too drunk so it iends up hes been in 2 fights and lost both. Sounded like backyard bull$hit although I know it wasn't. He told me he had tons of fans and groupies before we met. I wanted to be liike "oh really, with two fights?" but I didnt, I amtrying to learn to not be like that butwhat and idiot!Which he says no so I order it. I kind of like that feisty attitude so we start kissing at the bar and things got heavy but not too sketch. I guess we were just drunk. This is a definite okcupid/onlinedating NO NO but when I picked him up with the black eye I sort of realized I grew up. I could be physically very attracted to this kid but in the long run he isn't for me. In the past, I would try and make him for me and accept the bad, but now I see there is no good. Especially after we started talking about the book 'Shutter Island' and I asked if he read it and he said "yeah, about 69 times in jail." um...ok

beer please...

so I have my legs up leaning on him and we are just kissing and totally PDA, which I am not into but hes just a turn on. So it's getting late and he had to take the subway home. So I told him he could stay at my house! So he says okay. So I get our tab. It was $110 and he gave me $40! what an ahole. So, I run the rest on my card and tell him i have to pee. I'm still convincing myself this is okay. I come out of the ladies room and he isn't there, so I look all over then I go downstairs and its huge and I'm looking all over. The bar was packed due to the game so I'm looking all over. Finally, I go outside since I am parked in front and he is standing outside. I was mad. The dude completely took off on me! So we get in the car and I am driving and were just chatting and being dumb and I pull up to the subway station! somehow my inner compass worked! Instead of taking the hottie badboy to my bed I dropped him at the subway. So when he realized I was dropping him at the subway. He stormed out of the car. somehow, instead of being pissy, I just threw it in drive and went home. Maybe i am growing up and getting better. Even bad dates can still be lessons if they are looked at correctly.
wow- Im deep
Also makes the stupid negatives of date #1 look piddly.

Sunday, June 13, 2010

I parked illegally for you

The day of my date came. I found myself being excited. I didn't know what to wear. I really wear sundresses everyday but Laurie9 I think) told me don't wear a dress unless you usually do because it can be too much. But I do wear them often so I chose a typical one, not sexy really, more everyday and put it with a cardigan to maybe make it "daily". I get to the bar at 6:00. I am a stickler for being on time. I even put it in my profile. I'm very responsible with being on time. I see being late as complete disrespect , making someone wait on me or vis-versa.
I go into the pub, it is packed from Celtics playoffs starting later that night. immediately the sky opens and it starts to pour out, summer showers. Is it a sign?
So I order a beer, and drink it fast. now it is 6:20, where is he so I sent a txt and said were I was in the packed bar so he can find me. So he texts me he is running late. So, I am so upset. I decide 6:42 I will leave or two beers, whichever comes first. After the decision is made i get my beer and hang.
As I am finishing my beer, I am signaling the bartender and I see him come in("Kevin"), Hes really big and soaking wet! I wave and am a little bit like;'oh my goodness, huge and wet', he comes over and i give him a side hug/kiss on cheek and pull out the chair next to me. All the nervousness is gone in five seconds so he orders a beer and we smile. But I'm frustrated about the time. He sees this immediately and tells me I was an hr early so I am like "no no no", I glad my phone and load the okcupid (iphone)ap and he was right! I was an hour early! I am a total ahole. So we get beers and talk for awhile. The convo is easy easy and he is hilarious and has the cutest accent.
Laurie has a rule of a 50 min meeting. The first time meeting a stranger off a dating site is that;"meeting", I wanted to follow this but it was all a mess and he was in the pouring rain for so long and soaking wet and things were finally smooth. "they always seem smooth" she says. But they did. So we continued having beers and the bartender liked me so it was cool he was talking with us too and it was just very laid back and I didn't drink too much which is a general error I make. The Celtics came on and i was trapped. We were there for the game Kevin isn't into sports so I yelled and cheered myself, it was great fun. As the game came to a close, we decided to leave. He was a riot and had an adorable accent and was leaning on my bar stool and our body's went from on point ad unknowing to more comfy. So we left the bar, Celtics lost(boo) and he wanted to walk me to my car(aw). So we walk up to my illegally parked car- NO TICKET! so I give him a hug and a little kiss and said goodnight. Everything was smooth, it was fun. My only concern was the weight. he is super tall, super sweet and love the accent but whats with the weight? When I got home he text messaged me he had a great time and sent me his email. I replied that i did as well and thank you for paying, which was so nice. SUCCESS!?

Saturday, June 12, 2010

okcupid, work your magic baby

I joined okcupid and I thought I would be bombarded immediately. Maybe i just hoped but, ether way, it was depressing that it was such a slow start. The site also tells you if people reply to emails "often", "seldom", "rarely". Everyone I was matched up with I found the "rarely", this frustrated me immediately because I put this effort into meeting these people and was trying to hold a positive outlook but these potentially cool guys "rarely" respond, which makes me thing;what is the point. But I pushed on. I wrote a journal which it is said helps bring people to your site( I think Laurie said!).
I actually wrote on the topic of the frustration of people not replying to emails and one guy so aptly replied "get used to it." I emailed a few guys that seemed my type and heard back, we emailed a bunch but I could see it was heading nowhere but still was progress from not even having an account( I was acting interested-right?). I do not want to email with someone that is never going to ask me out. I don't mind hinting at getting a drink or meeting but really I would prefer not to have to. These email options I decided not to hint, even if we emailed many times. I consulted Laurie ( She told me that I had to be confident and patience is key, also to switch up my photos on a regular basis, just juggle them around, add or delete.
Patience is definitely not a virtue I posses but I committed myself to follow her rules, her multiple successes definitely trumped my 34 years of failure.
Once I started shuffling I did get more emails. I found that I was emailing many guys so I felt more confident starting emails with new potentials. I read a ton of profiles and some of which were so funny I laughed out loud, but, of course, they replied "rarely", so I would drop and note saying their profile was a riot but never heard back.
Laurie ( also told me that guys are not likely to reply to a wink. Send a message, it looks better. But, alas, eventually you get lazy. I found one guy, I could tell he was a riot from his pic( priority), and I sent a wink. He didn't really fit my "mold" but I just formed that a week prior, who knows. So after like 3 emails he asked me out(score), for the following Friday.
I agreed.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

dating coach?

My eflirtexpert- Laurie, whom I met on twitter has offered me little bits of friendly advice plus offered other ppl the same and I put it in my brain vault in the corner designated for dating errors. Pretty much all of her suggestions were things I did the complete opposite, so i saw a theme immediately. I also read most of her site( which is a barrel of advice. So, through discussion about what I look for. It took me a long time to nail it down. For many years I thought anyone that wanted me was good enough, as long as they have a car and drink good beer.

But that didn't seem to be working in my favor so I narrowed it down. I like more subversive guys. Usually they have tattoos although that isn't a "requisite", major things are a car( how am Igoing to be whisked away to nyc for a weekend, oh a NH lodge?), major sarcasm, a mean streak, just slightly and educated, and that doesn't mean paper on a wall, I think a major reader can be just as educated, and likes good beer is not "necessary" but a bonus. So, by Lauries educated prodding I joined okcupid. I always found okcupid to be soooo "out there", since it is free everyone goes on there. When I taught, all my students were on there so I steered away, as far as possible, esp since I told my students I was engaged( long story). So I joined, she advised me on photos? two? one face, one body? all fancy or more casual like me?Joining nearly blew my head. Whatdid I want to say. No advice could help, it was down to my words and "stay upbeat". And so I jumped in the pool. It was not 81 degrees like my pool at the gym.